As the cliché goes, there's all these unexpected twists and turns about coming into the last year of college. Stuff I honestly didn't think about until I was lying in my own bed in New Jersey. It's impossible not to be excited about graduation and all the rad things it will certainly entail, but it's also fucking terrifying. Bitching about endless distribution requirements aside, I've been fortunate to basically screw around for three years, spending a year dallying in English, taking a bunch of history courses for a couple years, and even taking an awesome four-months in Spain where I contributed in no clear way to my major/career goals.
So, to be a kid about it for a moment, this idea that I have to pick something that I want to do, and do for potentially a very long time, kind of sucks. I could see myself being happy doing a lot of things, but figuring out which of these options is the right one for me to pursue gives me knots on the inside. It's a complex formula I must deal with here. All of the vague ideas that I've constantly thought about with regard to a career -- happiness, money, location, social impact, etc. -- are finally becoming tangible, as I think about where I rank them and how to reconcile wanting to do something that I love with the practicalities of standard of living. It's something the liberal arts education really puts on the backburner, when all you need to think about is which courses sound most interesting to you and whether or not the beer fridge is stocked.
So I guess this is in a way the final summer of a particular brand of fun. The kind of fun that comes with having a designated college break, when even though I have real obligations I'm still essentially free to goof off and not think too hard about much of anything. You know, staying up late reading about useless shit on the web and coming to work hungover whenever I want. Wait, are those really the first things that come to my mind when I think about uninhibited freedom? FUCK.
The Undertones - "Here Comes the Summer"
P.S. I'm at my grandparents' apartment at the moment, and without my laptop. Hence the lack of MP3 updates. But if someone is really clamoring for Black Sabbath's Black Sabbath or the Coachwhips' Bangers vs. Fuckers, I could theoretically put something up, since I guess I ripped those albums to their computer two summers ago. Somehow I will rectify this barren MP3 situation in the coming few days. Maybe I'll also just post pictures of good-looking girls from Flickr to make up for this meandering drivel.
